Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh Baddd...

Brace yourself. This post is nothing more than recapping Elaina's bad day. And by bad day, I mean she was BAD.

First off, Eric has been out of town for the week since Monday and I've been a little anxious but hopeful about how my week alone would pan out. I know that other mom's single- parent every day, but I'm just used to having my husband there when I need him.

When I arrived at the babysitter's house, Nancy looked at me with a look of despair and said, "Oh Laura, I hope I did the right thing. There was an incident today." Oh boy.

She went on to tell me that Elaina had a complete and utter meltdown/tantrum when her other little friend was using the cup that she wanted. Nancy had decided not to give into Elaina and told her that she was not able to have Kayla's cup. Apparently, Elaina threw herself on the floor, kicked, screamed and even resorted to scratching at her own arms in her fit of rage. Nancy held her tight and reassured her until they reached an agreement that Elaina would be using a green cup instead. Oh boy.

Nancy's primary concern was her trying to scratch her own arms and hated to put her through all of that because she said "no" over a stinkin' cup. I reassured Nancy that she absolutely should have stood her ground and not let Elaina get her way and I've seen her so mad that she's even tried to pull at her own hair. That's been scary for me to see too. The minute she starts this, I grab her arms VERY firmly and tell her "don't you dare pull my daughters' hair." Like she's some kind of split personality psychopath , torturing my baby. Whatever. She stops and just cries.

Nancy relayed this incident while Elaina was not present. When she came back in, I could tell that she was clearly avoiding me so I pulled her close and hugged her and told her how glad I was to see her, just like every other day and then asked if there was an accident at Nanna's. I didn't so much want to punish her again, only wanted to acknowledge to Elaina that I knew what had happened and have her apologize.

So, there I am, thinking our incident was over and we were ready to leave. Just then, Elaina decided to hide behind a chair, stand-off style and told me she wanted to stay. Nothing I did or said made her want to budge for the better part of 5 minutes before I strapped Lincoln in the car and made a separate trip to carry her out kicking and screaming. Apparently, I lost my "good" Elaina, because in the almost 3 years that I've been taking her there, we've never had a circumstance escalate even close to this type of behavior.

Once in the car, I turned off her favorite kids music CD and ignored her. Silence for the whole four minutes home. I unpacked the car, tucked Lincoln safely in the living room in front of the TV and finally made my way out to speak to Elaina. Only briefly. I've learned that shouting and threats don't scare my daughter nearly as much as blatantly ignoring her. She has fear for the unknown more than she fears my words. Once inside, she knew she wasn't quite out of trouble and was crying and still carrying on. She was made to sit on the bottom step of the staircase for a time-out until she could quit crying. After nearly 5 minutes, she settled enough for us to talk and she identified her bad behavior and I helped her to recognize that her behavior will not be acceptable. I didn't have to tear into her like I felt on the verge of doing and I didn't even need to raise my voice. I impressed myself that I held my temper too and that the whole evening wasn't lost on dealing with an out of control toddler teetering on the edge of a beating all night long. We did it. I don't have any idea what sparked the demon in my baby girl today, but I also saw how we were able to get through it. I think we both learned a lesson today.

After an exhausting day like today, it looked as though Elaina needed just a little more comforting from her friends. And her books. And her shoes and just about everything that wasn't nailed down.

Celebrating Finals

I wish I could have stolen all of ten more minutes each day last week to jot down some of the cutie things that my kids did, but instead, my days flew quickly and sleep won out. One quick little memorable was on Thursday when we went to an outdoor ice cream stand for dinner and dessert. Elaina made friends with another little girl and proceeded to introduce her family to her. Amazingly grown up, she said "This is my Daddy, Eric and my Mommy, Laura and this is my baby brother, Lincoln. He's our baby. What's your name?" Seriously, this girl of mine can make my heart want to explode sometimes! She was sooo cute.

On Friday afternoon, my department from work closed up shop a few hours early to hold our annual "Summer Staff Meeting" at a co-workers house. The best part about this "meeting" is that it is more or less 5 minutes of work related topics followed by a potluck meal of sorts in which our family was invited. Eric brought the kids and Keegan and jam packed full truck to the party, err, meeting and we visited for awhile before getting on the road to Eric's parents house.

After a few hours of driving, we arrived, anxious to visit and get settled in. But only a short time later, the sky began to look dark and ominous and the wind began to pick up. All across the news they were warning to seek shelter in basements and interior rooms to be safe from the impending tornadoes which were headed our way. Just when we decided upon the hallway as our safest refuge, the storm seem to blow over, the sirens began to lessen their howl and the wind didn't seem so angry.

On Saturday, my mom popped over to provide shuttle service to my mother-in-law, Elaina and myself to go treasure hunting. Since it was Elaina's first time to enjoy a girls' day out garage saling, we told her that we were searching for treasures like pirates. We all came back with some treasures and had a relaxing, enjoyable girls-only afternoon.

In the late afternoon we headed to our nephew's high school graduation party which was essentially the whole point of our trip to visit. Elaina made a new friend and got filthy dirty playing in the sandbox, on the swingset, on the trampoline and in the bounce house. Talk about a way to wear out a kid. I had to make the child take breaks to get her to drink some water and I already surrendered myself to allowing her cake for dinner since there was no way I was about to win the power struggle to make her eat at this party.
Lincoln on the other hand, enjoys eating very much. In fact on his way up to the buffet table as he went exploring, he got a bit wobbly on his feet and the uneven ground and took a header right onto the same little bruise he got a week ago while chasing his sister through the kitchen. Poor Lincoln baby. A shiny, new knot began to form almost immediately as his mother's heart was breaking from his injury and his tears. Right now, I've begun cutting strips of bubble wrap to cover his little noggin for our next outing. My poor little guy has had a challenging time when it comes to hard surfaces versus his head. Sunday was our final stop and our very last graduation party we planned to attend. This was the party celebrating my cousin Tommy's high school graduation. It was a pleasure to see my younger cousins there with their spouses and kids. Since Tommy is one of seven kids in his family, there's always something new with one of them at any given moment. On this same day, his older sister, Abby had just given birth to her sweet daughter, Allison. And as a bonus surprise, my cousin Susie, also an older sister of the graduate, had flown in from Arizona. It was awesome to get to hear briefly about what each of them has been doing, but it kinda stunk because I could have literally talked with each cousin for hours, but had to interrupt every conversation to track down my kids. I joked that in 4-6 years, all of the kids will be a great age to be more independent and entertain themselves without getting into trouble and the big cousins (us) can sit back and finally enjoy our conversations. And when I talk about the kids being older, it will be great because there are literally about a dozen little cousins within the same age group.

All in all, we had a great no-stress weekend with the best part being getting to see all of my family on both sides (with the exception of my favorite bro and SIL:-)) and sharing new experiences and cousins with my kids.

Grand applause to the hard working graduates of 2008!

Sleep Tight

Last Night:

As I checked on Elaina after she fell asleep, this is what I encountered:

The window seat lay empty.Doll babies have gone missing from their baby beds with only one dolly shoe left behind.Glowy the teddy bear, Dolly the baby doll and Lilly the Leapfrog are all resting on their pillows.

Pink Bear, Bunny and Baby Deer have kicked off their covers. Baby Angel never sleeps.My Baby Angel is resting peacefully after tucking all of her baby dolls into bed making sure everyone was covered up, with their heads on pillows.Sleep tight my Babydoll.

They call it a revolution

I am so in love with our no commitment weekend deal we have going on here. It seems like after this weekend, our summer is snowballed into weekend something-or-others and not a lot of wiggle room for nothingness.

Eric spent the early part of the day fishing and catching more than his share of sunburn on his neck. The kids and I lazed around the house playing in our jammies and waiting until after naptime and the temperature to drop before going out. One funny thing that Elaina commented on this morning was our paper boy's careless method of delivering our morning paper to our doorstep. He sometimes fails to put it in a bag on rainy days (even if delivered IN the rain) and sometimes just forgets to hassle with that pesky little rubber band that holds each of the 128 sheets of paper and sale ads intact. Funny how he would forget that. Anyhow, we heard the roar of his pick up truck from outside and saw him pulling from the driveway. Immediately, Elaina wanted to go downstairs and see if that paperboy remembered the "band." On our way downstairs, she said, " If the paper boy doesn't have the band on it, we write him a bad letter. If he does have the band on it, we write him a funny letter and one to grandma and one to Nana and yadda-yadda-yadda." Okay, seriously, the child's memory floors me. It was about 3 months ago that we had our first incident with the paper boy not banding our paper together. Needless to say, I was collecting the Sunday paper from all over the backyard. (Did I mention that it was all over?) At that time, I commented in Elaina's presence about that darned paper boy not doing a very good job. She remembered this and wanted to check on him right away. Amazing.

Once Eric got home, I convinced him, with the help of our smiling, clingy children, that he should come along to the local grocery store with us since we were just about to leave before he walked in. As we were preparing to leave, Elaina was working on a project that she called her "compiano." I believe that would be a cross between a computer and a piano? She had pulled off every sheet of a narrow notebook pad of paper and laid them out very systematically across the floor. Thus creating the world's first compiano! What it's function was? We'll never know.

Part of my bribe to get Eric to come along to the store was a stop at the playground to surprise the kids. We pass this particular playground all of the time, but since we have our own park within walking distance, we rarely sway to any more options. I knew it was going to be the kids' new favorite the minute we pulled in. It has so much variety and not overly mature for our kids' ages. It looks like I may have volunteers to come along to the store with me more often.

A Sunshine Day

And she's been happy ever since!

Today I finally found a princess scooter that is exactly the right size for my little Princess. She picked it up right away and was off! I'm not talking about speed or great distance riding, but for an almost 3 year old, I think she did pretty good.

And then there is This Guy. Poor baby Lincoln doesn't get to enjoy any of the fun things that his big sister does. When given the opportunity, it just isn't really the same.

So this is pretty much how our family spent the day. Doing next to nothing. Hooray! We sat and enjoyed each others' company, the kids chased bubbles from our new monkey-bubble-blowing-gun and we played outside. Just a nice to day to appreciate "boring." I'll take it!

Slippery Sweetie

Did I ever mention that my daughter is an absolute girly-girl?

I've always lotioned my kids up after their bath times and pampered them with little rubby massages just when we're doing as much as watching TV together. Elaina has always loved her lotion and chapstick and anything else that Mommy will allow her to use with discretion.

As I was getting ready for work this morning my little lotion lover asked to use some lotion. Since her little body only holds so much skin which is only capable of withstanding sooo much lotion, I offered her to put her lotion on Mommy's legs. And so it began. Little hands that rub so gently. Cold lotion after a hot shower. And reaping some reciprocation on the pampering end from my daughter. And so what if she did use my expensive, beautiful smelling perfume that I received as a gift but will never shell out the money to buy more? And who really cares if she left the pump bottle a slimy mess of lotion and goo? This is one little luxury that I'll sacrifice for. Humble aren't I?

Contrast

Last night my kids were both just darned cute. However biased I may be, they were cute and they were good. Last night. Elaina went outside with her dad to water the plants before coming in for her bath. In the meantime, I started a bath for Lincoln all by himself. Judging from his belly laughs as he splashed in the water, you would have thought it was his very first solo bath he's ever had. Not the case. Lincoln splashed his arms, kicked his chubby little ankles and just enjoyed every drop of his bath with great amusement.

After their bath, Eric and I swapped kids for bedtime and Elaina and I pretended to be in a rocket and that we were saving someone and that we just met for the first time and that we were glued together, etc, etc. We snuggled down tight together and read books and kissed goodnight and the night was done. Sweet!

So then, there are nights like tonight. After dinner, Eric took the kids to the playground to give me some space to get a handful of things done around the house. By the time they returned they were tired and a little bit dirty and it was already past their bedtime. Together, Eric and I tried to get the kids ready for bed by brushing teeth, washing hands and dirty little sandal feet. It was at this point that Elaina nearly came unglued.

Eric took back his charge to Lincoln while I tried to get Elaina jammied up and into bed. She was so mad and so tired and so yelly in throwing her tantrum that I was nearly through with her. Her attitude persisted and so did I. I took many deep breaths and used every tactic I knew to change the subject and divert her attention and calm her down. Finally, I learned that the stem of her anger was that Daddy put the toothpaste on her toothbrush and she wanted to do that.

Oh. Dear. God.

Back to the same

Has it really been a week? Only one week since I've posted last? So it has.

So now what? Where do I really begin catching up a whole week? It's not like we were on a fabulous vacation or like my fingers fell off at the nubs and I couldn't type. Do you really want to know what I've been doing? Really?

Cleaning. Yep. That's it. Cleaning.

Every Memorial Day weekend our friends, a family of 5, descend upon our house for 3 days and 2 nights. As much as I love hosting them, I love having all of my house work out of the way before they arrive, while not looking like we are their friends, the Messy Messerson's. Did you know I have a control issue when it comes to clutter and mess? Maybe you've caught on.

Not all of last week was consumed with cleaning. Eric worked 16 hour days three days in a row last week, leaving me at (almost) single parent status morning and night. Luckily, I got by just fine without incident. I already knew that my blogging would be taking a backseat and that cleaning around the kids' bedtime was going to be a priority. Getting through the week just made it all the better to have my husband home for a nice, long weekend together.

On Thursday, I took Lincoln to see an ear, nose and throat specialist. In the past 8 months or so, Lincoln has had more than his share of ear aches and ear pain. His pediatrician made the referral to the ENT doctors that I used to work for. It was great to see all my old friends and introduce them to my kids. The doctor came in and checked Lincoln over, he ordered a hearing screening and then made the recommendation for the procedure for ear tubes. Lincoln is not really a critical case to worry over, the doctor seemed to base his decision mostly on his history and the fluid that seems to be collecting in his ears. Basically, he feels that Lincoln will be relieved of any current discomfort he has in his ears while eliminating the recurring ear aches that he is mostly prone to. It was actually a relief to me to hear his recommendation, knowing that my baby boy will soon find relief without his ears bothering him and hoping that this will cease some of Lincoln's bouts of the fussies that usually occur at bedtime. Just maybe he'll even get his smile back.

Now, onto our weekend. Derek and Beth arrived Friday evening much later than they had anticipated. We had dinner and prepared for the next day. On Saturday morning, Beth and I share the tradition of hitting up her parents' housing allotment's garage sales. This marks our third year we've gone out together and we always look forward to a great day of treasure hunting. The dad's on the other hand, get the fine collaboration of looking after 5 kids: ages 1, 2, 3, 5 and 7; Lincoln being the youngest and the only boy. The guys have learned not to ask when we'll be back, how much money we've spent and "what are you gonna do with that?" Beth and I did have a great day of scavenging deals and sharing girl time without the chatter of little mouths interrupting every other minute. The dads did a great job of tending to our children by taking them to an amped-up community park complete with a ferris wheel and a mini kid's roller coaster. Everyone was happily tattered and tired when we joined together for dinner at our favorite pizza shop and shared the highlights of our day. The girls enjoying a goodie bag of everything sparkly and girly from a garage sale free box: True love!The next day, we said goodbye and took a family nap. A long overdue rest for all of us. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind still sleeping; three days later. Before they left, I helped with bath time and cleaned 3 little girls and dried 4 little girl heads with enough hair to gag a horse. We did not do a thing for the rest of the day. I picked up here and there, but was otherwise content with just leaving things a mess wherever they landed. I'm on a break. Later in the evening, we did manage to peel ourselves from our new lazy state of being and headed to the playground.Monday was our town's annual Memorial Day parade which is all of about 6 minutes and includes the high school band, the Lion's Club, a handful of war veterans and any kid who wants to march or ride their bike in the line-up. The parade concludes with the fire trucks, with Daddy on board) and the ambulance services. Everyone goes through town and to the local cemetery for a memorial service. Lincoln ate Goldfish crackers with his friend Cole and Elaina flitted about with her best friend, Ali. Hey, they were both being good, what can I say? Just when I thought I had neglected my share of the blogosphere for long enough, a friend of mine called and away went my blog time once again. So there you have it! A week in a nutshell. Or some nuts in a weak-shell. However you want to put it.

The Neverending Race: Non- Winner

Lately, I feel nearly defeated. Defeated by my own sense of responsibility, order and standards.

It seems like despite my efforts of maintaining a certain stream of organization and keeping up with whatever curve balls come my way, I am always finishing last. Not only last place in the race, but reaching the finish line (unfinished) every night after midnight.

Warning: Complaining to follow!

I don't know how it happens but by the time I get home from work at 5:00, we eat dinner, play or bathe children every other night and try to have the kids tucked in bed by 8:30. That's what we do. In theory, it sounds as though I should have a full 2.5 hours to myself to still make it to bed by 11:00. So, what happens to those 2.5 hours?? That's what I want to know!

Admittedly, this past week has been exceptionally busy with being away from home for almost 5 days. And then I was so thankful for the arrival of the weekend. Saturday found me doing a Tastefully Simple show, followed by a muddy outdoor graduation party which we drug the kids to right at their regular bedtimes, and then when the rest of the family went home, I joined some friends at their bonfire / cookout as my friend was announcing the sex of their baby (still pregnant) by food- coloring cupcakes blue for a boy and pink coloring for a girl. It was blue cupcakes all around!

Sunday was a happy day of sorts. It marked the last day of turkey hunting season for Eric. Up until now, I've practiced some level of restraint when it comes to how much I dislike hunting season. Eric has been out of the house before 5 a.m. and in bed by 10:00p.m. for like 3 weeks now. He works a full day of work there in the middle, but usually stalls out on any additional projects that I could use a hand with. So, when Eric came home on Sunday, he was all mine. We gave our living room a face lift with all new pictures on the walls. Added some new metal wall decor to our front foyer. And ended up swapping out some displaced pieces to other rooms. After what seemed like a full day of must-do projects, I still haven't gotten everything done. Another factor that contributes to my super-freakish-cleaning spree is that we're expecting company this weekend and I don't want to look like a dirty pack rat who sits in front of the tv all day. NOT!

As if I didn't already have enough personal pressure on myself for getting crap done around here, I feel like I've neglected my blog and my blog-friends almost entirely. I still haven't replied to this friend's kind thank you, still haven't written thank you's for Lincoln's birthday gifts, still haven't sent any reply to a friend who passed down two giant bags of hand me down clothes for Elaina, haven't vacuumed my house in over a week, still ignoring the soap scum and mildew that's hosting a reunion party in my bathroom and I still haven't slept over 6 hours a night since we were on a our mini-vacation at the grandparents' houses. My most important fault of negligence is that I have yet to craft Lincoln's birthday letter to him. For that, I feel like crap. Remorse and crap. My poor, poor second child. This is why I am so happy about having only 2 kids just like I always wanted. (By the way, that's a whole other blog topic I wanted to write about someday too.) I can't imagine what things I would let slip off my to-do list if I had a whole other kid to care for too.

So, just to not make this post entirely self-pitying and ridiculous to the non-OCD people, I'll conclude by telling you the good things that have been happening around here. Lincoln is now about a 65/35% walker now. He's walking about 65% of the time and getting around just fine. He's had some bouts of the fussies / clingies lately and I can just about see the giant molars under his gum line waiting to erupt. Elaina has been going sans diaper overnight and nap time for about 3 weeks without incident. Eric worked all day Monday to complete some landscaping in our front yard and bring in some lush and colorful plants. And me? I'm just hoping to beat that darned clock one of these days and feel like I've finally got the upper hand in the race. Only time will tell. Otherwise, I'll be back to more complaining.

Party Tour: Part 3

Our third and final party of this weekend was my mom's retirement party. It was excellent timing since we were already in town and wanted to be a part of the most deserving recognition for my mom as she's taught at the same school for 27 years. Her fellow teachers were especially generous with gift giving and ever so thoughtful with a tribute video that had me wiping tears from my eyes more than once. I've always been proud of my mom for her hard work, commitment and genuine compassion for every one of her students year after year. This is something that just doesn't come so natural for some teachers these days, yet my Mom's only ambition was for them to learn. And over 1,000 students did just that by being in her classroom.Her next career move is that of full-time-long-distance Grandma. I know there have been times that my Mom's heart has been heavy when my brother or I call her on the phone and relay stories of all of us being sick and miserable and when our lives seem to be spiraling out of control in meeting deadlines, fulfilling commitments and trying to be full time parents. For the past 2 years, my Mom has been counting down to this. "Honey, you know I'd be there to help you if I could. When I retire, I'll be there whenever you need me." So, Mom, you're going to be retired soon enough and we'll take you whenever we can get you. Even when we're not sick. Especially then. This is a good thing. For all of us! This little guy can't wait to have you come to share his toys with him. Lincoln has been drilling Colin for all of the things that you'll need to teach him too. These guys have even put together a little song for you. (Leave that noise box at your place though, mmmkay! Elaina has made sure the notes are flawless. Of course. What else would my daughter be doing?I don't think your grandchildren can wait any longer. Look Grandma H., your fan club has decided to pack every single toy into their tent and camp out until your very last day of school. "Grandma? Can you come over to my house?"

Congratulations Mom! For all of your years teaching such valuable lessons in the curriculum and in real life, you've touched so many families and impacted so many individuals. For more than 32 years, you've taught lessons, corrected homework, organized people, wiped tears, soothed hard feelings and cared with a genuine heart. And you did the same in the classroom day after day.

We are so proud of your career that has been your life's work and we look forward to enjoying the Grandma and Grandpa who are not on strict weekend-only schedule for visits and don't have to rush to record mid-quarter grades to get to come out and play. Here's to making every day a snow day, minus the snow, and the only bus duty you'll be responsible for is to determine whose going to be driving your bus to our house to visit.

Last call: June 2.

I'm thrilled for you Mom!

Party Tour: Part 2

Any guesses on what party took place this day??!?!

Lincoln's first birthday party!

This was such a busy, great day, I think that picture-narration will just work best for the highlights of the day. A great day to celebrate our big boy turning one year old and to celebrate our mother's on their special day.

Not only was this cake cute as ever, it is my favorite on this earth. My Mom's cake is a strong runner up though. Don't stop baking Mom!

Lincoln's "smash cake" just for him!

He was hesitant at first to get his hands so "involved," but after a little encouragement and a nudge of his fist into the cake, he put his best effort forward.

And he loved it too! I'm teaching this boy right!

My sweet boy looking every bit delicious!

Trust me that Elaina ate her share of cake and an ice cream cone after that. The child ate nothing resembling nutritious all weekend long.

Evan kept asking if we were going to play a party game. Huh? A party game for a one year old's birthday party? Um, not exactly. So, since I purchased books as party favors for each kid, I had them put on their party crowns and race to see who could open their present first. That counts as a game, right?
My lovely husband and equally darling son. It seems as though Eric didn't get behind the camera even once and it appears as though I wasn't even in attendance at my own son's birthday party. Isn't this what big sisters are for? Helping the wee ones to open their gifts. And play with them first.

Finally, it was Mother's day also and it was great to have both of our mom's to spend the day together and celebrate Lincoln, our family coming together and having children that we love so dearly.

While I'm not sure why this picture copied sideways (since it wasn't when I posted it), this is my Mother's Day card from my little munchkins. On the back there is a certificate to enjoy a massage at a local relaxation center that I've wanted to go to. I have to say, my family is good to me! Thank you Love!

A great day to celebrate Lincoln, our wonderful mother's and being together as a family to share such happy moments! It's about time!

Party Tour: Part 1

Um... maybe you noticed a short hiatus here on the blog-front.

Sorry.

On Friday evening we loaded up the truck with piles and piles of luggage, the dog, two whiney kids and one mommy in desperate need of a break. We headed to the grandparents' houses for an extra long weekend.

Late Friday night, we arrived at Eric's parent's house to visit, play and stay the night. Eric's sister stopped by to visit with cousin Evan in tow to play with the kids. Elaina always enjoys playing with "Eban" as they make up their own jumping and chasing contests. This night it was the marching band parade equipped with children armed with sets of pan lids as cymbals and stock pots serving as the drum sets. *Joy.* They really had a good time and we enjoyed our visit.

Saturday morning was the first stop of our party tour. We headed to my parent's house to drop off the boys so that my mom, Elaina and myself could go to my cousin's baby shower. While it was nice to see so much of my family that I generally only get to visit at Christmas, Elaina had an agenda all her own. Which didn't include sitting in the house on a sunny, crisp, spring-like day watching someone else open presents. She and her co-conspirators (cousins: Kari and Aidan) found the trampoline much more exciting. And just because I didn't want to see anyone crack their pretty little skulls, I was the keeper of the jumping children for much of the baby shower. That is, until they decided to pull out the water guns and find cooler ways of entertaining themselves. Happy Baby Shower Abby.... I hope it was good. I wouldn't know. Elaina LOVED it!

Happy Birthday Lincoln

Dear Lincoln,

My sweet, handsome boy. Good God, you have a gift my baby, every time I look at you, I just melt. My angel boy.

Lincoln, I don't even have enough words to express what you mean to me. You are my dessert. Sweet and delicious and I can't even get enough of you. And like dessert, I never expected you to show up when you did. It was the most perfect timing as if I had custom ordered you and you finally arrived. Of course we wanted another baby and of course, we wanted a boy if it were up to us. And in the whole lottery pool of adoption, we hit the jackpot. Like the super grand prize with monthly installments of riches. I would have never thought I could be so selfish to ask for such a perfect boy and receive all of my heart's desires wrapped up in a soft, blue blanket with stunning blue eyes. How could I think I was was worthy of you?

In the past year, you have captured my heart. You have caused my heart to ache with worry over sicknesses which have landed you in the hospital and kept us up at night. And you have touched my heart in a whole different way than your sister. You've made me a mother of two. With that, I've learned a whole new capacity of love. You are my son and you are all of my heart.

Being a mother to a son is new to me. Maybe it's more a cross between second child and gender differences together. I'm having to relearn to be a new parent in your new world. As a second child myself, I know just how loved you will be regardless your birth order. I am constantly reminding myself to slow down and make time to teach you and make things special for just you. I want that for you . I want nothing but the best for you.

In my first year of being your Mother, I have felt more blessed than any other mom that ever had the privilege of having a son. You are special, Lincoln. Special because God made you ours. And by the way you resemble your Dad and look like your sister, you weren't meant for anyone else. You have a quiet calmness about you. You are cautious and you are thoughtful. Although you are not overly generous with your smiles, your whole face just sparkles when you flash your baby teeth smile between your sweet baby face cheeks. And I know which smiles are just for me.

In the past couple months, you've matured so much. You are a true toy-boy and play very well on your own already. You've developed a special fondness for cars and wheels as well as your soft, silky edged blankets that go with your tasty thumb. Although you are a little man of few words (like your Dad) you've learned to obey and you like routine. I don't know if you've ever reached a maximum fullness after meals because you appreciate food that much and you seem to like every food presented to you. (Alleluia!) Over the past few months, your sleeping habits have become like clockwork and you like your rest. In the early months of your life, you didn't seem to like to cuddle and snuggle as much as you do now, but I think that you do it because you know how much your Mommy needs to hold you and squeeze some love into you for a few special moments each day. For the most part, you are a very easy baby. Best of all, you are a perfect fit into our lives. With you, our family is complete.

Until you came along, I never knew just how much I wanted and needed a son. You've opened up my world and given me the opportunity to become a new parent all over again. I can't wait to see what this year has in store for us. This is your new age of development and learning. There is so much I want to show you and share with you. There is so much fun to be had and memories to make. Lincoln, my love, thank you for capturing my heart by becoming our son and making me the most proud and honored mother that I could ever dream of being.

All of my love and abundant happiness be yours Lincoln,
Love, Mommy