Thursday, July 05, 2007

As Time Goes By...

Time is a funny thing.

In fact, I spend all of my time just thinking about how best to utilize my time. Can you imagine? I spend time thinking about how much time I have left to hold onto my kids before putting them to bed. How much time Lincoln will spend awake at 4 a.m. to drink a bottle. How much time I have to run to the grocery store and not be missed. How much time my kids have left before they outgrow all of their summer clothes and shoes. How much time do I really need to sleep at night or should I just try for that last attempt at even a somewhat entertaining blog entry.

So, you get the idea. I spend a lot of time thinking about time. And after 8 weeks, my time has come. The time to get clean, dressed and hustled out the door before 8 a.m. The time to kiss every square inch of my kids faces before turning them over to Nancy to do the very same for the remainder of the afternoon. Time to put on my big girl panties and face the day. I have to go back to work.

And here I sit. Asking myself, "where has the time gone?" Is it really possible that my sweet almost-7-pound baby boy has turned into a nearly 12 pound bundle of sheer bliss? And how much time did it really take me to fall in love with this little stranger whose needs I easily put before my own? And finally, where did the time go between Elaina learning to crawl and turning two?

As the saying goes, " Time is a gift; that is why it's called the present!" All I can say is, what a fabulous gift! Day after day, my kids have provided me with love, laughter and a never ending sense of awe. Only two days, in all of the 8 weeks I was on maternity leave, I wanted to glue my children to the wall. And they both picked the same day to be cranky. Their bouts of the fussies were easily mended with a little more sleep and a lot more patience centered around their care. I loved being off work and facing the challenges of the day only to bring on even bigger rewards. Eight whole weeks to get to know my new son and witness the evolution of a big sister. There's really nothing that will ever compare to this time we've shared. I loved it!

But as time keeps rolling on, and the bills keep coming in and my shopping habits have yet to dwindle, I must return to work. I chose to go back to work after the 4th of July holiday of which everyone was off and start my work week on Thursday. I figured that if I could make it through 2 days straight, there was hope for me yet to restore my once-rational-brain which has suffered for the past 2 months accumulating a fine assortment of cartoon songs and Dr. Seuss rhymes. There might be a chance that my fingertips may remember all of the fine details associated with my job and function accurately. I had to return to work before I fooled myself into believing that this stay at home mom job is easier than an office job. High-ho, high-ho, it's off to work I go...

And to Lincoln and Elaina; don't give all of your smiles away before I get home to hold you!

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